We are told practice makes perfect. In truth, practice only makes habit.
Habit can be a good thing. It allows us to manage multiple tasks at the same time safely, without using much conscious thought and energy, such as driving, walking or typing.
In order to develop good habits that help us think beyond the way we say and do things, we need to practice. Each of the following simple, powerful games, has the potential to help us improve self-awareness, focus on others, and develop habits to be more open and inviting to others’ ideas, opinions, and solutions.
1) Living without “I, Me, My, Mine”
Aim to eliminate the personal pronouns, “I”, “me”, “my”, and “mine” from your written and spoken communication for one hour. It will require attention and focus on what you say and how you say it. You may decide to redirect to the topic at-hand or the people involved. You can try saying, “That is a good plan”, instead of, “I like that plan”. When you strive to reduce the number of times you use these words, you may be surprised how difficult it is, yet how much it improves your stories, ideas, and relationships.
2) Rejecting “No, not, nope, neither, nor”
The title itself is purposely ironic, in that each of these words rejects. They are words we commonly hear, yet are uncomfortable saying, and even more uncomfortable hearing. Remove these words from your speech and written communication for one day. You can still move forward without accepting new projects, as long as you refrain from using these specific words. Reducing or eliminating these words requires you to find an alternative way to say things. With practice, you, as well as others, will like your new approach and tone.
3) Listen and Ask (L&A)
The third game may be the toughest of all. The idea is to focus the conversation on the issue or other person, without connecting any of the communication to you. Any time someone shares a story, an idea, or a solution, you simply listen, and ask questions related to what they have said or the value it creates.
Bonus points for understanding what they think, why they think it, and avoiding your own stories, ideas, and solutions. If necessary (for professional reasons), let them reach a new conclusion by asking smart questions, yet keep the conversation on them without switching to you, or your needs and interests.
Each game has the potential to help us communicate without dominating, better understand and shift our perspective, connect with others, improve how we are perceived, and develop habits that allow us to think beyond ourselves… and move forward personally and professionally.